6 Things You Should NOT Do To Become A Successful Author

Let’s start with the painful truth: I’m not a particularly successful author/novelist. Moderately successful, yes.  But successful enough to send the day job packing off into the sunset with a raw behind? Nope.

So here’s what I’ve learned in over a decade of not being a particularly successful novelist. A list of 6 quick and easy things you should not do unless you want to risk being in roughly the same place I’m in now ten years down the line.

1. DON’T NOT CHEAT WHEN IT COMES TO REVIEWS

I’ve never bought a single review from those ‘suppliers’ who offer to wax lyrical about your book, despite only ever reading the blurb (if that). And look where this Honest Joe approach has got me. On the outskirts of Nowheresville. (By the way, the genuine reviews I have got have been very helpful. Even the average and bad ones.)

2. DON’T BELIEVE THE MYTH THAT HARD WORK WILL GET YOU REWARDS IN THE END

I’ve put in plenty of hard work, late nights, eye strains, cramps in the bottom, etc., and none of it has paid off to any great degree. I’m still not selling books by the bucketload or even a thimble-full on a regular basis. So maybe slacking off and using more comfortable chairs is the answer.

3. DON’T NOT GIVE UP

These are all awkward double negatives, I know, but it’s the only way to get my message across. I’ve not given up. I’ve kept on writing, but still that breakthrough eludes me. Perhaps you should try a different route to literary fame. Giving up writing and telling the world about it might give your name and novel the boost you're looking for.

4. DON’T STOP SUBMITTING TO AGENTS TO PUBLISHERS

I stopped submitting stuff to agents after paying £500 for someone to give The Zombie Cop a good going over. It resulted me in rewriting the novel which is better for it, but I never bothered submitting the new version to anyone. Too expensive and too predictable an outcome (ie, thanks, but we’re not interested).

5. DON’T NOT FEEL DOOM AND GLOOM OR WONDER IF IT’S WORTH IT

I’ve never felt down about the rejections or non-replies. It’s par for the course. But is this positive, never say die attitude getting me anywhere? Absolutely not.

6. DON’T NOT PUT LINKS TO YOUR BOOKS WHEREVER YOU CAN

I’ve resisted the temptation to put a link to any of my books in this blog, even though it’s good for SEO. You’re here to read, not to buy. But maybe you should consider putting links to your books everywhere you can.